Okay, 476 AD is when the original *ancient* Roman Empire finally went belly up. It is sorta-historically called the Western Roman Empire for about the last century or so of its existence because of the split of the Empire into Roman and *BYZANTINE* Empire (usually just referred to as Constantinople). They had actual names, but they were nicknamed East and West colloquially. When the west finally succumbed to the invasions, Constantinople continued to chug along.
Charlemagne is the one who “restored” the western side of the Roman Empire, but he specifically called it the Holy Roman Empire. Then he died and that brief period of “Hey Look, Rome!” went buh-bye as well.
Then Otto I, asshole son of Henry Fowler, rescued the pope of the Church in not-yet-Italy and said “Hey, if I solve your problems for you, you’ll make me Emperor, right?” The pope, being kind of fucking desperate at this point, made the mistake of agreeing. Otto I went out, kicked the utter shit out of the pope’s enemies, and came back saying “NOW, MOTHERFUCKER.” So the pope at the time (962 AD) declared Otto I of East Francia as the new Emperor of the *Roman Empire* which quickly became dubbed the Western Roman Empire, since Constantinople was seriously pissed off by this declaration and pretty much declared war on both Otto I and the papal states.
(Otto I is also the *direct* reason why the Church became the most politically powerful entity in Europe, which fucked up pretty much everything, but that is a different rant.)
Despite the fact that Otto’s heirs had the bad habit of dying really young in battle or just because Reasons, the Western Roman Empire kept its shit together for quite a while, but did not become known as the Holy Roman Empire until the 1200s, when everyone finally went along with the Saint Otto nonsense and went “Yep, totally Charlemagne’s Heir!” and that is why the various names of the varying Roman Empires is a complete clusterfuck.
In your copious free time I propose that you start a history vlog. Kinda like drunk history but more ‘had it up to here with this shite’ history.
…What copious free time?! DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING I DON‘T !??!!? WHERE IS THIS MYTHICAL EXTRA TIME, I NEED IT.
Pointless LOTR headcanon of the day: Frodo & Merry both take after their mothers, meaning Frodo looks more like a Brandybuck than a Baggins and Merry looks more like a Took. This is a constant source of petty contention.
(Pippin meanwhile absolutely takes after his father & is the most Tookish looking)
Merry: call me a Took one more time
Gandalf: if it looks like a Took and acts like a Took it’s a Took
Merry: I will END you
Gandalf is the only nonhobbit in the fellowship who understands the minutiae of Took Vs Brandybuck Vs Baggins rivalry & he delights in it, everyone else baffled
Frodo: look it’s perfectly simple. The Brandybucks don’t like the Tooks because they play golf and think they’re better than everyone because they occasionally go on adventures. The Tooks don’t like the Brandybucks because they live on the wrong side of the river and like boats. And nobody likes the Bagginses because they’re annoying.
Aragorn: are you… Including yourself in that
Frodo: I said what I said.
Frodo: now the Bagginses don’t like the Brandybucks OR the Tooks because they’re highly disrepectable but also richer than they are. And as far as a lot of the Bagginses are concerned I’m a Brandybuck because I grew up in Buckland and I have the Brandybuck Profile
Merry: which just means he’s not pug-ugly
Frodo: quite.
Aragorn: this is all ridiculous. Keep going.
Gandalf: Hm now I wouldn’t say UGLY but… every Baggins I’ve ever met has been perfectly Round or perfectly Square… There is no middle ground.
Gimli, baffled: Frodo isn’t round OR square
Merry: that’s because he has the Brandybuck profile
Gimli: so… Is he a Brandybuck…
Merry: ABSOLUTE not
Frodo: slander!! I’m a Baggins how dare you
Pippin: was your father a Round Baggins or a Square Baggins
Frodo: my father… Was the ROUNDEST Baggins who ever lived… A perfect Sphere of hobbit…
The sad thing is that there just are NOT that many useful resources set in that particular time period–which is fucking weird, because the late 900s is when the Western Roman Empire formed, and its founding changed literally fucking EVERYTHING about Europe. Every. Thing. Even finding Theodora’s lineage is difficult, which is screwed up, because she was a savvy bae of a political leader who was recognized as actual Empress while ruling as Regent for Otto III.
Then there is the lack of anything regarding Mac Bethan’s parents. MacBeth is a pretty popular motherfucker thanks to Shakespeare, and I’m having to pull his lineage all but out of my ass because there is nothing but a few names. I really do hate that I had to make up who Findlaech’s mother is, because wow, thanks, nobody wrote that down anywhere. Also, MacBeth had to be seriously fond of his parents, because when his idiot first cousins assassinated his father, MacBeth went to war and fucking destroyed them. He burnt one of them alive. His uncle fled Moray to avoid the same fate and had to hide in France for the rest of his life. Nobody knows if he was part of the conspiracy or not, but I imagine MacBeth probably was in the mood to slaughter first and ask questions later.
It’s really not taught, even in Scotland, that Moray was the most powerful kingdom at the end of the 10th century–not Alba. Alba was fucking tiny in comparison, even with some of the other kingdoms in the east saying, “Sure, we’ll call you our overlord!” Still tiny compared to Moray, whose king, Findlaech, was called the High King of the North. (Findlaech is a quiet badass and I love him.)
It’s a similar problem with Sigurd. The dude is a massively famous historical figure in Caithness and the Orkney Isles (or infamous, depending on where you are) for being a stubborn badass who took no shit from anybody ever, and yet people keep naming the wrong person as his mother. (And I mean they get it WAY wrong, genealogy fistfights levels of wrong.) The most I managed to find out about the Skullsplitter’s family, I uncovered through genealogy records, as most sites online don’t even list the names of Sigurd’s sisters, despite their political importance at the time. They also don’t bother to name his uncles, despite THEIR massive political importance at the time–they started a massive fucking war in the north that raged for 4 years just to figure out who would send a message to the king of Norway and say “Yeah, hey, I’m in charge now, he’s some stuff.” IIRC, Sigurd is also famous for being the Orkney Jarl to finally tell the King of Norway to fuck off and leave them alone, making them an independent kingdom for a while.
Genealogies are your friend. Tapestries and what artwork you can find of the period, also your friends. Dated maps of that time period are really fucking useful if you can find them, which uh, yeah, I had to build my own for Britain. Random bits of scholarly articles and rumors, also useful. If you can find documentaries about the Norse Viking age that aren’t complete piles of overdramatic, incorrect shit, then that is also helpful because the Viking Age shaped the political landscape of northern Europe. My bookmarks and file folders are full of reference material that I saved because I couldn’t fucking find it anywhere else.
In Grímnismál, Odin states, “Never a single name have I had since first I fared among men.” And indeed, we have a very large number that are attested, as well as many that have no doubt been lost to time.
One of the more well known heiti is Hrafnaguð, the Raven God. In turn, his blood brother Loki is called Gammleið, “the vulture’s path.”
Because of Odin’s connection with ravens as well as his role of selecting those slain on the battlefield for an afterlife in Valhalla, I propose that it is feasible, perhaps even likely, for Odin to have been named “the raven’s path” by viking age skalds.
Another notable name is the one commonly used for him: Odin. The word it most likely derives from, óðr, is usually associated with ritual ecstasy and battle frenzy, but it could potentially extend to other forms of “madness.” For example, of his twin ravens, Huginn and Muninn, traditionally translated as “thought” and “memory”, Odin states, “I fear more for Muninn.” He embodies anxiety about not only the temporary abandonment of ritual or battle, but also a more permanent loss of history and self.
One final aspect of Odin that his heiti point to but is rarely explored is his connection to the night and blackness. He is Fjölnir, concealer, Herblindi, blinder of hosts, and Tvíblindi, twice blind. He is Grímnir, the hooded one. He presides over Yule, the longest night. Ravens are so closely associated with their color that the word is used as a synonym for black. And according to folklore, he notably rides forth with his forces, known today as the Wild Hunt only between sunset and dawn.
So basically, it’s 100% lore compliant to say that Odin is Ebony Darkness Demtia Raven Way.
I can’t believe you did this and am utterly torn between impotent fury and seizing hilarity. Wow. Wow.
why have the multiply-cursed, shabby, jackal-laughing PACK of you CONSPIRED to put this in front of my eyeballs so many times that I was FORCED TO READ IT TO THE END.
First off, this is not a political post. This is a scam awareness post. Hopefully people help spread the message, considering this is US Voter Registration Day according to today’s Google doodle. You also don’t have to spread this entire post to be helpful, just the two links at the end. I apologize it’s long, it could be as short as “don’t use TurboVote, they give your information to multiple partners who bolster their company value with it, FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, IGNORE THE TWITTER NOTIFICATION YOU WILL RECEIVE.”
But I also don’t want it to appear as some low-effort grab for attention. This is the kind of thing that needs lots of proof and explanation. People are exploiting the current political environment to scam young Internet users into giving away swathes of personal information to access services that shouldn’t require anything more than a ZIP code.
This one is particularly bad.
Because it will affect millions.
This evening, I got an odd sponsored post on my Twitter feed. It appeared as so:
I’ve seen sponsored links like this before. A large corporation like Twitter would create expedited guides to help their users participate in their national elections, but would also collect this information for figuring out voter behavior and trends. These would then be offered to the political parties so they know where to focus their efforts better. It’s a pretty basic business.
But the thing that caught my attention was that upon following the link, I was immediately asked to fill out personal information.
The landing page takes you here:
“After all, we’re going to be friends.”
Somebody actually approved that copy. Because that’s not creepy or anything.
Already, they are asking for your first and last name. Note that online registration for voting is legal in 39 states, so the first check should be to confirm if the user is even able to utilize the service. Also, to help direct me to a verified site that would be able to process my voting application, it wouldn’t need to know my first or last name, it would just need to know what State I resided in.
The next page gets worse.
I cropped out a lot of text in between, but basically, the next page doesn’t waste any time asking for even more personal direct methods of contacting me. Probably for “special offers” and “updates” from sponsored candidates and action committees buying their way into my inbox.
They’ll surely ask for my State to get the actual process underway, yes?
Nope. Next page is just me confirming that I am a live and active recipient of their “services.” Note they already have my name and Email/phone number, so selecting “Yes” would automatically put me on their recipient list to be pestered. But what’s interesting is if you select “No/I’m Not Sure”…
Hey, there’s the State pull-down menu! But it’s with…ehh, a lot of very personal information that’s definitely not needed to verify if I’m eligible to vote, or to redirect me to an official government source to actually register.
Let’s put in some fake credentials. Note I’ve been using a browser with cleared cache and incognito mode, so it can’t siphon off my browsing history to circumvent my trickery. I am also using a VPN, so they can’t figure out my location either.
Now I’m very concerned.
So I’m not filling in an application at all. As speculated. I’m just giving a whole bunch of extraneous information, and after giving them my name, my phone number, my Email, my street address, and my current voting status, I’m simply provided with links to the actual government resources and registration page.
I’ll register online.
I get kicked back to the landing page. The link does not work. Everything I sent in just returns me to a “null” subdomain.
Alright so this is very suspicious. Who the heck even are these guys? Let’s check the privacy policy.
Confirmation that they do store all the information you sent them. However, they assure that it’s not sold.
They also claim that their partners do not sell the information either, and they are only given that information simply to perform the services they use.
Unfortunately…
What curious findings have we here?
Basically, the company is not going to delete its databases of user information if they’re purchased by another entity. Not even the entire company, just a “division or subsidiary” of the company, like the “database of their collected addresses and user names” division.
Don’t be fooled.
TurboVote is exploiting National Voter Registration Day to data mine you. They claim neither they nor their partners sell user information, but they do collect it, store it, and they will hand it over if an interested party decides to purchase it. Not TurboVote directly, but their “partners” will. They accumulate it, all the while saying they aren’t selling it, and what’s deceptive is they’re telling the truth, it’s not being sold. That is…until they put themselves up for sale, and use that gigantic address book to bolster their company value through the roof.
You don’t have to do this. They do not need your home address to relay you to your registration form. They don’t need to keep your information stored on file. They don’t need your name, your voting eligibility, your party affiliation…any of that information. DO NOT give your personal information to third-party “voter assistance” scams like this. It’s absolutely abhorrent that Twitter is sending mass notifications to people to use this data mining service, when there are plenty of simple non-committal websites already in existence to provide you the services you need.
And remember. Please vote. If you’re confused about ballot measures and local election information without the hyperbolic nonsense blasting out of the TV ads, and wish there was some sort of Ballot-type Wikipedia site out there, Ballotopedia is a fantastic source that lays out all the information you need for every ballot out there. Even you, Mr. Ezekiel Zebadiah Abraham of Muttonbutt County, Kentuckabama, they’ll even have comprehensive guides to help justify re-electing Officer Fuzzwhistle The Cat for his fifth term as mayor.
Again, I’m fully aware this is such a long post. Hopefully this helps you guys figure out how to get involved in the legislative process, and moreso, provides you the links necessary to give actual help to others without compromising their security. You don’t have to send them this post (please don’t, it’s gigantic), just the alternate site suggested at the end.
Thanks.
Hey, Twitter, this is how the Russians get their info.
[Drawing of a brown cat saying “The ideas will come again. The words will come again. The work will come again. The art will come again. The motivation will come again. The easy creative joy will come again.” in a pink speech bubble.]
Took me a good couple of years and meeting @humanrevolt but I got there. ❤
Okay, 476 AD is when the original *ancient* Roman Empire finally went belly up. It is sorta-historically called the Western Roman Empire for about the last century or so of its existence because of the split of the Empire into Roman and *BYZANTINE* Empire (usually just referred to as Constantinople). They had actual names, but they were nicknamed East and West colloquially. When the west finally succumbed to the invasions, Constantinople continued to chug along.
Charlemagne is the one who “restored” the western side of the Roman Empire, but he specifically called it the Holy Roman Empire. Then he died and that brief period of “Hey Look, Rome!” went buh-bye as well.
Then Otto I, asshole son of Henry Fowler, rescued the pope of the Church in not-yet-Italy and said “Hey, if I solve your problems for you, you’ll make me Emperor, right?” The pope, being kind of fucking desperate at this point, made the mistake of agreeing. Otto I went out, kicked the utter shit out of the pope’s enemies, and came back saying “NOW, MOTHERFUCKER.” So the pope at the time (962 AD) declared Otto I of East Francia as the new Emperor of the *Roman Empire* which quickly became dubbed the Western Roman Empire, since Constantinople was seriously pissed off by this declaration and pretty much declared war on both Otto I and the papal states.
(Otto I is also the *direct* reason why the Church became the most politically powerful entity in Europe, which fucked up pretty much everything, but that is a different rant.)
Despite the fact that Otto’s heirs had the bad habit of dying really young in battle or just because Reasons, the Western Roman Empire kept its shit together for quite a while, but did not become known as the Holy Roman Empire until the 1200s, when everyone finally went along with the Saint Otto nonsense and went “Yep, totally Charlemagne’s Heir!” and that is why the various names of the varying Roman Empires is a complete clusterfuck.
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