Interestingly, if your apology language is showing insight then it actively benefits from a lot of things that are discouraged in modern social justice contexts. Like, I appreciate it if someone says to me ‘hey, I was hostile towards you because I was brought up in an awful purity-culture religious environment and I never really learned that people like you were people’.
But I think that’s exactly the kind of behavior that often gets a reaction of “so do you want a cookie for basic human decency?” or “stop making excuses”, mostly from people whose apology-need is accepting responsibility and who read that as refusing responsibility.
It’s not an apology, and what’s appropriate for apologies is a little different, but recently I read a touching, smart and self-reflective post by a woman exploring the horrible sexism she experienced and the way it’d made it hard for her to sympathize with men and caused her to have the habit of starting interactions with men on a confrontational footing, and how she wanted to address that. And she ended by worrying that maybe the post focused too much on her history of experiencing and being harmed by horrible misogyny, and how this might come across as justifying the habit she wanted to change instead of explaining it. And I could totally imagine someone having that complaint, but wow, I really hope they don’t, because it’s way easier to connect with people when you get why they’re making the mistakes they do and why they have the needs they do and where they’re starting from, and we’d have lost something if the start of that piece carefully avoided explaining critical pieces of the picture.
Making excuses is actually easy to fall into, and it’s harmful and unhelpful. But making yourself understood – to yourself, not just to other people – and getting where you come from and what is actually making it hard to do the right thing is so important that I’d rather err on the ‘making excuses’ side than the ‘don’t make this about you’ side.
And if people know their apology languages then maybe they’ll have the vocabulary to communicate “I need to hear that you’re sorry, and it’s not helpful for me to hear about what caused it, because I experience that as a shift of the emotional burden” or alternately “I find it really helpful to know where you were coming from”.
In December, while visiting a shooting range in Medley, Florida, National Guard Sgt. Valerie Deant came to a horrifying realization: Members of the North Miami Beach police force, who had just left the facility, had been using mugshots of young black men for target practice.
This person has scammed me and countless others by taking their money for commissions, disappearing for months, and then finally blocking everyone she promised commissions to and changing her URL (now haunted-marmalade but this is subject to change). I am not the only one she’s done this to.
It started back in December of 2017 when she opened commissions under the URL flying-shark-reactivated. And she probably got a lot of people to ask for them due to her unique art style and low prices, but a red-flag that I should have seen in hindsight was the fact that she asked for money up front, and also sent through paypal as a gift through her request as seen below.
For anyone who doesn’t know, when a commissioner asks you to send them payment as a gift to avoid fees, it also makes the payer unable to claim a refund if the commissioner decides to just run off with their money without giving the buyer anything.
But as an artist, I am always looking to support other artists when they open commissions and usually tip them if their art prices are low (lbr, so many artists on tumblr price their art way too low) And I thought our relationship was pretty professional, I even told her there was no rush and allowed her to take as much time as she needed due to her schoolwork. But as the months went on she stopped responding to my messages all together until she finally ended up blocking me with no word.
But this time I knew something was fishy, so I’ve even tried to e-mail her, and decided that hey if it was too much pressure for her to do my commission I would just ask for my money back, which is the first image you see in this post along with my note. I gave her plenty of chances to back out of a commitment she couldn’t hold up to. But no response, only a cancellation, a block, and a few days later she changed her URL and opened commissions again! All without fulfilling the commissions she already promised many others months before! Any attempt to contact her with other accounts asking for our money back results in an instant block. So BE WARNED if you see her taking commissions, IT IS A SCAM!
I’ll show you examples of her commission sheets (old and new) and artwork down below so you know what to look out for. She draws a lot of GTA V, furry art, and a series herself and her boyfriend as fursonas named Boo and Jam.
On her new account she is already receiving anons (btw, sending a death threat anon is just as shitty for an awful thing to do so don’t ever do that :I) which I am assuming is because people are VERY angry about having their money stolen, but she claims innocence and uses her age as an excuse. SHE IS 21, SHE IS AN ADULT and she is FLAT OUT STEALING FROM PEOPLE.
She says she wants to support herself with her art, but as someone who she took money from without getting any art in return, I find it hard to believe that’s really what she wants to do. She has gotten away with stealing from so many people for so long because 20-40 dollars is a low price for a commission, and it isn’t a huge loss for maybe one person but the fact that she scammed small amounts of money from a massive amount of people AND is PLANNING ON DOING IT AGAIN to a whole new wave of commissioners is what I can’t stand.
DO NOT COMMISSION ABIGAIL CAMPBELL OR HAUNTED-MARMALADE! YOU WILL HAVE YOUR MONEY STOLEN FROM YOU! PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST THIS SO OTHERS DON’T FALL VICTIM!
IMPORTANT please read:
I’m reblogging this bc at this point, this post has a few hundred notes and most people seem to just reblog this post, or reblogging it and calling the artist a bitch. Now I have no idea weather these alligations are true or not, but I would like to call attention to the fact that the artist has tried to refute these alligations on their blog and posted screens of their PayPal to prove it. I admitably don’t understand those, but the artist also has some commissions posted on their blog that they seem to have done for people.
At this point I want to make it clear that I am not saying that I belive they’re innocent. Because I really don’t know either of these people and have never comissioned this artist. But keeping in mind that these kind of callout posts have been wrong and incredibly harmful in the past, and that these things are incredibly easy to manipulate, I want to encourage people to please not blindly reblog this, but do some research on it and come to your own conclusion.
And if that conclusion is that haunted Marmelade is probably a scammer because you have more expertise than me in finding this stuff out you can still just omit this addition to the post and reblog the version without it.
Hello! Locustpoof here, and I understand these kind of posts can be harmful, but I’ve tried to make any kind of contact with Haunted-Maramalade for several months (through paypal, email, and tumblr) and the last thing I was left to do was to just warn others not to fall into the same trap. I can’t even respond to her last response since she has me blocked, any any contact with other blogs just results in another block. (Here’s another person who it happened to, posting a link to their tweet with permission https://twitter.com/chubbytail/status/1006251783482740736 )
I saw her response to my post, and I honestly do not understand it either because I have never met her IRL unless she’s responding to whoever that anon was (because that wasn’t me). I’ve never spoken to her aggressively, not even when I requested my money back and I would have no reason to photoshop anything. And yeah, it’s confusing because she’s showing prices that are different than the amount of money I sent/requested back so I do think she is responding to someone else entirely.
But anyway, the whole point was just that other’s wouldn’t get scammed too. The commissions she reblogged were from two years ago, so the most recent ones I’ve seen her do were back in December just before she started opening them again in 2017.
She stole money from me and honestly I feel awful I even have to call an artist out like this… my last actual interaction with her was pleasant!
Those first few messages were in January (after commissioning her in December), and the last message was from last month (May). She didn’t respond and when I checked my messages a week ago I noticed I was inexplicably blocked by her!
I was confused, so I logged onto an old account and tried messaging her. She had opened for commissions so I tried starting a conversation under the pretense I wanted a commission. After a day of waiting I got impatient and admited I was lizardummy and asked for an explanation.
I tried to be as fair as possible, I know shit happens! But she blocked me AGAIN without comment and I was getting angry and desperate so I tried one last time to contact her on an older account I don’t use anymore.
I didn’t want to have my money just stolen, I wanted to give her an out she could use to explain herself and I would have taken even a half-assed excuse and let it go and even let her keep the money! She immediately blocked me…
I’m asking you to please be cautious with this artist, she’s stolen from me and others, and I do NOT want this to happen to anyone else anymore.
EDIT: I was able to recover Tumblr message screenshots
Abigail Campbell/flying-shark-reactivated/haunted-marmalade scammed $52 out of me and I’m furious. I don’t exactly make a ton of money super quickly, and I try to support so may great artists i see, but honestly this has just made me so much more paranoid. I can’t recover screenshots of messages I’ve sent on Tumblr messenger in attempt to contact her because she blocked me like the coward she is and I can’t get to the message chain. However, I do have the emails of what I’ve sent to her. My first one was what I wanted for my commissions, the second was me contacting her IN MARCH, after commissioning her in January and her lying to me saying it would be 3-4 weeks at most.
Here is a screenshot of the PayPal transaction when I sent her the money
Given I sent it as a gift , which was exactly what she wanted so she could get away with scamming me, I can’t get my money back, which is honestly all I want at this point. Sure, i can make more money, but the situation is so frustrating. Why does she feel the need to do this, when she has artistic ability,and seems to be relatively productive with it? Unacceptable. To those who commission and those possibly looking into commissioning her don’t fall for this. I’m super upset and I wish I could go back in time to stop myself. In the future, I will never send money as a gift again, I will only send if invoiced.
Are we even surprised she’s also transphobic as all fuck? We need to get her OFF the internet because she’s just a vile piece of shit thief…
Hey everyone, heads up she changed her URL and opened commissions again under her new name (but it’s still the same account so all the previous links still link back to her) It’s now spookishshark so watch yourself!!
I’m an artist but this also angers me A LOT. This kind of actions can make for the honest artist(esp starting to take commissions to support themselves) lose their potential client/customer and hinder their way of getting commissions.
Reminders
-Do not gift money to pay upfront to an artist, always ask for an invoice. For any artist who tells ‘don’t know how to use the invoice’ or just bunch bullshit excuse in making you gift the payment is not a reason because that a huge red flag.
–Always ask for an update even though it’s fucking slow as long the artist can show the progress and give the final output on time.
-If you are scared, go to an artist who has already good standing, the one who has great reviews of their services from other people with their post/reblogs. Always research, know the artist. (It’s like downloading a software from third party website, you should know if that’s a virus your installing by checking the reviews. It’s very important.)
I’m not a big time artist but as a professional it’s always needed that I let my client/customer know what the process of being my commissioner and getting a great services I can give.
Artist or not but People who scams others has a special place in hell.
teachers, share the weird crap your kids have done!
I’m not a teacher (yet) but I do work with students and one of them had the nerve to look me dead in the eye and ask me “why would it be a bad idea for me to eat this entire marker?” They’re 11
An 4th grader asked for a high five by saying, “A little slappy to make daddy happy?”
I did not give him a high five.
A student during break had her head in her arms and was shaking a bit, so i asked the kid next to her whether she was laughing or crying and this 8 year old stared me in the eye deadpan and said “im crying on the inside”
Wait i take that back, I cant believe i forgot about the time i brought in a small stuffed octopus as a class mascot because why tf not. It was a class of high schoolers and i didnt imagine theyd actually care much, but one student snuck in a snack and gave it to the octopus as a tribute. Which led to other students doing the same thing, until every day there was a pile of of offerings to Fweej the Overseer, mostly consisting of things like string cheeses and small bags of chips, but sometimes there wouldd be a couple bucks in quarters, one kid brought in some giant pocky i think, and at one point there was a cold stone gift card. This stuffed octopus gained a cult following.
Later i brought in another stuffed octopus that looked exactly the same but bigger and told the class that Fweej the Overseer accepted their offerings and became stronger. These highschoolers lost their goddamn minds.
Oh my god I love this. Thank you for letting those kids be the dorks all high schoolers are.
So my psychiatrist wanted me to take an IQ test and I wasn’t really sure why, the dude is pretty eccentric but I suppose it’s for demographic purposes and you’ll never fuckin guess what I got
OP don’t leave us in suspense
420
“jk it was 158″
I’m not sure if that tag is itself a joke or not but 158 it already an incredibly high iq. You better not be pulled our collective legs here.
No that was the score I got. I’ve taken IQ tests before in high school and was always around 140. It’s just logical intelligence, though. Not social, not artistic, not really even book smarts. It’s basically a score of how good you are at problem solving and isn’t really indicative of your overall intelligence. Honestly I consider myself in all other aspects to be of average intelligence. I have problems with social queues as well and problems retaining information.
also rmemeber the fact that op is a literal fucking astrophysicist. i fucking hope they have an iq like that.
That’s a good point lol I’m good at physics but like….. can’t work an oven and I’m not allowed to use weedwhackers
“Not allowed to use weedwhackers”…plz elaborate
They move fast and cut things including ankles and shins
this is a wonderful post because it shows that people can be a fucking genius but it won’t guarantee they’ll be good at everything
“Dude I don’t know what the fuck happened. I was robbing some bitch and the next thing I know I’m being choked out by a fcker that can’t use his legs…..”
Handicapable.
Just awesome
THE GUY WITH THE CAUTION WET FLOOR SIGN THOUGH. HE IS MY HERO BECAUSE HE DIDN’T EVEN STOP HE JUST GRABBED IT LIKE ‘WEAPON GET’
He got spanked in the booty by a wet floor sign
“I may not have working legs but I still got hands and you’re about to catch ‘em!”
I think my favorite part is how all the potential heroes backed off immediately when they saw the guy in the wheelchair. They were just like “oh, he’s totally got this, nice work bro, may I help you tie him down until the police arrive?”
Except for the one guy who was like “well I guess I’ll just give them a quick spank with this wet floor sign while I’m here” 😂😂😂
Fun fact: Egyptian gods do not have ‘animal heads’. The depictions of gods are meant to contain a duality, as is important in Egyptian Religion (life/death, red land/black land, chaos/order, human/animal). So when you see, say, Anubis with a man’s body and a Jackal head it represents both his human form and his Jackal form, meaning he might appear in either form. But never as a human with a Jackal head. That is only something you’d see on temple walls for the duality aspect.
How di you know??
I mean it sounds likely but where are you getting your information from?
I’m an Egyptologist? This is literally my job.
But if you want a source, read: Silverman, D. (1991) Divinity and Deities in Ancient Egypt, In J. Baines, L. Lesko, & D. Silverman, Religion in
Ancient Egypt: Gods, Myths and Personal Practice. Ithaca and
London: Cornell University Press. 7-87.
Thanks for the sources.
I had just never heard about that fact before.
No worries! (I realise I put a full stop instead of an exclamation mark at the end of “this is literally my job” which might have sounded harsh, so I apologise!)
This is a very pure interaction
this is exactly how you should react to hearing new information that you’re skeptical of or don’t immediately believe is true
also I’m fascinated by the punctuation question here. Full stop means “I’m done with this interaction and not amused” whereas exclamation mark = hey no big, I’m happy to explain!
Our generation has solved an issue that written English has had for centuries and I love it.
FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT TREES LITERALLY ATTACK ISENGARD BECAUSE TOLKIEN WAS SO FUCKING PISSED OFF THAT SHAKESPEARE PROMISED MOVING TREES AND ALL HE GOT WAS DUDES HOLDING BRANCHES
people talk about women being ‘emotional’ and ‘overreacting,’ but you don’t see a woman making an arch-nemesis out of an albino whale and obsessively chasing it down like a lunatic for 585 pages
since i made this post, i’d multiple women telling me they would absolutely hunt down a whale for an extended period out of a bloodthirsty desire for vengeance, and i want to apologize for engaging in gender stereotypes
Asknotbug's Tumblr Backup 