Greetings friends! The midterms are so close, are you registered to vote?
You: I can’t vote, I’m an Ex-Offender
ARE YOU SURE?
I live in Vermont or Maine: You never lost your right to vote
I live in DC, Hawai’i, Illinois, Indiana, Maryland*, Massachusetts, Michigan, Montana, New Hampshire, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, or Utah: You can vote upon your release from incarceration.
That’s cool but I don’t live in those states. I live in: Alaska, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Georgia, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Minnesota, Missouri, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, Washington (state), West Virginia.: You can vote once you have completed your sentence (parole and/or probation)
Wow! That’s really cool. But, um. I don’t live in those states. I live in:
Alabama: You cannot vote if you have been convicted of any felony listed here. Crimes of ‘moral turpitude’ including: Murder, Manslaughter, Kidnapping, Rape, Sodomy, Sexual Torture/Abuse
Arizona: First time offender? Complete your probation and payment of any fine or restitution and you can vote. Multiple Offender? You have to apply to a judge to vote.
Delaware You cannot vote if you have been convicted of murder, bribery or sexual offenses. If you have been pardoned or had your sentence completed, get your vote on!
Florida Rights must be restored via the governor and a clemency board. In the November elections Floridians have the opportunity to vote for Amendment Four and restore voting rights to over a million Floridians. So that man that threw an alligator at someone can vote?? YES but so can your dumb little brother who thought carrying a concealed weapon would be cool when he was 19. So can the drug addict who robbed a convenience store but has been clean for 20 years.
Iowa You must petition the governor
Kentucky You must petition the governor
Mississippi If you have committed one of the following crimes: armed robbery, arson, bigamy, bribery, carjacking, embezzlement, extortion, felony bad check, felony shoplifting, forgery, larceny, murder, obtaining money or goods under false pretense, perjury, rape, receiving stolen property, robbery, statutory rape, theft, timber larceny, and unlawful taking of a vehicle. you cannot vote unless a bill passed by both houses of the legislature or through the governor. If you did NOT commit one of those crimes, you can vote even while incarcerated
Nebraska Voting rights are automatically restored two years after the completion of all supervised release
Nevada Voting rights are restored automatically after sentence completion if convicted of a non-violent felony. However, those convicted of a violent felony and all second-time felony offenders (whether violent or non-violent) can only have their rights restored by the court in which they were convicted.
Tennessee Individuals convicted of a felony since 1981–except for some felonies such as murder, rape, treason and voter fraud–may apply to the Board of Probation and Parole to have their voting rights restored once their sentence is completed.
Virginia: You can vote if you completed your sentence, including probation and parole. This is not a law but an order by the governor. A new governor can repeal this.
Wisconsin-Voting rights are automatically restored upon completion of all supervised release
Wyoming- Voting rights restoration is dependent on the type of conviction: first-time non-violent felony offenders can apply to the Wyoming Board of Parole five years after completion of sentence. All others must apply to the Governor for either a pardon or a restoration of rights, but must wait ten and five years, respectively, after completing their sentence.
In many cases you must RE-REGISTER to vote but you can vote.
*If you are guilty of buying or selling votes, you have to get the governor to pardon you.
This is not intended to be comprehensive, you should check out your state’s laws for any quirks.
Remember people of color are disproportionately incarcerated. Double check you may be able to make your voice heard
People keep asking “How can anyone have a problem with AO3 doing fundraising!”
And I’m just like…. Have people not noticed all the virulent anti-AO3 hate on tumblr propagated by the anti shipping community? Antis have a problem with AO3 raising money because they hate the fact that AO3 won’t allow them to censor content they don’t like and doesn’t tolerate bullying. That’s who is putting out these posts like, “how can this nasty site raise so much money?” Read between the lines.
And for all the people who are just like, “If they don’t want AO3 to to raise money why don’t they just not donate?”
Because antis are incapable of saying “this isn’t for me so I won’t support it but I don’t care if other people support it. They have to actively discourage other people from supporting the thing. At the same time, they also won’t stop using AO3 because 1) they’re a bunch of fucking hypocrites who want readership and that’s where the readers are and 2) they’re too lazy to put together their own archive using AO3′s open source code because that would require doing coding and buying servers and doing all the moderating they want, which is hard, and they just want to engage in empty virtue signalling, which is easy
Anyway, my point is, people need to be aware that these people are out there and they hate AO3 and they want it to go away even though they’re actively using the platform. They’ve even said they want AO3 to fail so something “better” (re, something they control) can take its place. Some of them are blatant about it, calling AO3 a cesspit of pedophilia, and some of them are subtle about it, saying more innocuous things like ‘Does AO3 really need 130K a year?” “Shouldn’t you give your money to individual needy people doing gofundmes for stuff that’s more more important?”
But all of these people have the same end goal, which is the destruction of the archive, and the way they’re going about it right now is to try to discourage people from donating.
So instead of asking, “Why do people object to AO3 raising money?” start telling people “Hey there are people out there who hate AO3 and want to destroy it and we have to protect the archive from them.” And donate, if you can, and signal boost, if you can’t.
These horrific, sexist, racist paragraphs – screenshotted and shared for posterity by James Smythe, to whom we are all indebted – are the work of one Liam O’Flynn, a writer and English teacher. Evidently, they come from his book Writing With Stardust: the Ultimate Descriptive Guide for students, parents, teachers, and lovers of English, and are intended as examples of good writing.
UM.
Dear white male writers: DO NOT DO THIS SHIT. IT IS SUPER GROSS AND FETISHISTIC AND ALSO TERRIBLE WRITING. THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.
Like I just. “Her virility-brown eyes -” WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN? How can you have an “Amazonian figure”ON a “wafer-thin body” when “figure” is a word that describe’s a body’s shape, and Amazonian means pretty much the DIRECT FUCKING OPPOSITE of “wafer-thin” in the first place?
What the shitting fuck does ANY of this mean, apart from “I am only nebulously familiar with the concept of women and completely at a loss if I can’t compare their various bodyparts to jewels, animals and footstuffs”?
STOP
GO TO WRITING JAIL
GO DIRECTLY TO WRITING JAIL, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200
This further proves that Bugs Bunny is more powerful than God and is not a force to be reckoned with
“One day, about 14 days after the accident, one of Blanc’s neurologists walked into the room and tried something completely new. He went to Mel’s bed and asked, “Bugs Bunny, how are you doing today?”
There was a pause while people in the room just shook their heads. Then, in a weak voice, came the response anyone would recognize.
“Myeeeeh. What’s up doc?”
The doctor then asked Tweety if he was there too.
“I tot I taw a puddy tat,” was the reply. It took seven more months in a body cast for Blanc to recover. He even voiced Barney Rubble in the first episodes of The Flintstoneswhilelying in bed with a microphone dangling from above.
The Radio Lab piece includes excerpts from an episode of This is Your Life when Blanc’s doctor tried to explain how he revived his patient.
“It seemed like Bugs Bunny was trying to save his life,” was all he could say.
Radio Lab features another neurologist’s opinion: Blanc was such a hard-working professional that his characters lived, protected from the brain injury, deep in his unconscious mind. The doctor’s question must have sounded like a director’s cue. Essentially, “Mr. Blanc, you’re on.””
Ok so I have a story. I worked Fantasyland (Dumbo) at Magic Kingdom. We had a girl transfer from Pirates of the Caribbean. And she told me the most amazing story.
So Pirates is down (shocking) And this particular boat is stopped at the first big scene, Where Barbosa is on the ship yelling for Jack Sparrow.
Anyway the boat has been stopped for about 15 minutes at this point, and there’s a couple sitting alone in the back. So the guy decides that nothing gets him in a better mood than the smell of water that hasn’t been changed in roughly 50 years, and convinces his girlfriend to blow him.
Now this girl is in the booth, along with the coordinator, watching this go down. Literally. There’s not much they can do to stop it at this point, other than notify security. Then another problem arises. The guy finishes, and the girl makes the motion to spit.
In. The. Fucking. Water.
Now if that load is released into the water, thats an automatic biohazard, and the ride is shut down for weeks. The water is removed, the ride path is scrubbed, along with the ride vehicles, and then new water is brought in. Costing the company thousands of dollara and pissed off tourists. The worst combination on this earth.
Panicking at this predicament, the coordinator grabs the mic in the control booth and says:
“Spitting is for quitters.”
This echoes over the bitching of guests and 50 year old audio of pirates commiting various crimes.
The look on this woman’s face was priceless. She gazes up, as if Walt himself commanded her from the grave, and swallows.
I’m told the ride started 5 minutes later and the couple ran out from the exit queue as fast as they could.
And this is why you dont fuck at Disney. Because cast members will call you out and it will be the highlight of our day.
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