Why on earth hasn’t anyone invented a less terrifying way to open biscuits and cinnamon rolls???? 😩
because squishing that much biscuit into that little space teeters on the edge of hubris. the pop is to keep us humble. to remind us that death comes for all
Make a Vampire character who’s lived through several waves of the common language’s development and can’t let go if certain gramatical habbits from different time eras.
So like, thou ist a horrid creature, an absolute cur, but go off i guess
… can i use that phrase irl?
Absolutely you can and I encourage more uses of similar phrases that just completely fuck up the chronology of the english langauge. I wanna hear 15th century english mixed with surfer speak mixed with current age internet lingo like all the time.
Like this? Well my dude, seems like a weasel hath not such a deal of splean as you’re toss’d with. Chill already, you’re not valid.
You are an unrighteous, bastardly gullion. Heaven truly
knows that thou art false as hell. When you die, I will face God and walk
backwards into hell just so that I can beat your ass in the afterlife too.
I love the idea of a vampire who’s language travels back in time as they get pissed.
I grieve for thee in these trying times. Alexa play Despacito
this is what plays when you’re dying and your life is flashing before your eyes
*puts this on my End Of The World playlist*
Ok @peachcrushedvelvet is 100% accurate but here are several other situations I feel this beautiful creation could apply to
1. End of the world type of experience as noted above by @nero-neptune i.e. meteors falling and people running, things exploding and desperately trying to survive
2. Desperately running through your house avoiding attackers (guns, projectiles, of some type)
3. You’re in a library and you accidentally knock something over which knocks over all of the shaves domino style and you’re running down the hallway with them falling in the background.
Everybody please contribute
4. You finally experience love at first sight, but they’re in the middle of a bank heist and you’re getting caught in the cross fire
5. You’re getting arrested in roller skates at the laundromat
6. Intergalactic space travel in the form of a gay cruise
you are falling off a very tall biulding
Dissociation soundtrack
lost in an abandoned shopping mall where all the stores are gated and the lights are flickering and this is crackling over some distant speakers when suddenly you catch a glimpse of something drifting down the broken escalator and it’s vaguely humanoid except its arms are too disproportionately long and knees don’t typically bend that way
– according to hobbit custom if the family patriarch, the head of the family would be his widow until she died
– so when Fortinbras Took died, his wife Lalia became head of the Took family
– she proceeded to live another 22 years, until she was 119 years old
– her son Ferumbras never married because he could not find a single hobbit woman willing to live in the same house as Lalia. no explanation given as to why but she was presumably very unpleasant.
– Lalia became so fat that she needed a wheelchair to get about
– she finally died when her attendant accidentally (or ‘accidentally’) tipped her out of her wheelchair & down a flight of steps
– rumour had it that her attendant was Pearl Took, Pippin’s older sister
– Pearl was excluded from the party celebrating Ferumbras’s accession to head of the family
– Pearl was later seen out & about wearing a priceless necklace that was a Took family heirloom
– rumour had it Pearl killed Lalia on purpose, the family covered it up, and Ferumbras rewarded her for killing his mother with the necklace
& that is, to my knowledge, the only known murder committed by a hobbit of the Shire!
I’m still not over this, THIS is what big dick energy means
sh-
….she did that in heels
So, I was on Facebook earlier, and a friend had reblogged a post about this man with cancer who had run out of sick days for work, and his coworkers generously donated theirs to him. Which is sweet of them. But there’s that whole, the system is broken, that such a thing becomes necessary.
Anyway, I reblogged the post from her, half expecting the annoying criticism from my idiot brother, who just so happens to be conservative and a Trump supporter. Immediately, he tells me, “Don’t tell me you don’t know why the system works that way” and that it wouldn’t work any other way or some other hogwash.
Now, I know I won’t be able to change his mind. I pretty much said that our views are too different, and I don’t want to engage him on political shit. He tried to tell me that it wasn’t political. So, I gave him a link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sealioning and told him that yes, it is political.
He backed off like whoa. x’D It’s okay, Chandra. I love you. You’re my sister. We can agree to disagree. x’D He knew exactly what I was accusing him of.
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