dagny-hashtaggart:

hazoretspartyfavors:

prussianmemes:

i almost forgot this blessed video exists

Wait there’s another one of these

If memory serves, what happened was that someone took a video of a Ukrainian military band playing some other song and dubbed a realistic-sounding version of A Cruel Angel’s Thesis over it. This proceeded to be everywhere on the internet, enough so that the band that put on the original performance caught wind of it, and decided to capitalize on its popularity by actually performing the song. This video is the latter version.

impalalord:

We abducted humans.

To be fair, we abducted members of every new race. Abduct a small percentage of the population, expose them to some galactic prisoners, and we get a good idea of what germs, diseases, and viruses will make the jump between races. Do this over the course of a [roughly equivalent to a century], and you get a good idea of what there is, how quickly it mutates, etc. You also have the time to develop vaccines for any races that might be affected by the new race (including itself- we’re not heartless).

But we underestimated humans.

It was [roughly equivalent to four decades] into our testing of humanity. We picked up a human from his transport and placed him in a containment cell. He had some nutrients with him, and we picked that up too: less we had to feed him later.

But we underestimated the resourcefulness of humans.

Something went wrong- we think it was a door malfunction- and he escaped the cell. He disabled the guards easily (we suspect they were less alert than they should have been) and took their weapons. We locked all hatches, hoping to seal him in the laboratory wing. Unfortunately, he hacked the shipboard computer, gaining control of all systems. He made his way to the bridge, where he took the captain hostage. We offered him riches, technologies beyond human understanding.

But we underestimated the stubbornness of humans.

He was paid us no mind as he wrestled with the controls, as if on some quest. He punched numbers and figures into the console, and mumbled something about ‘being lit on fire’ by a superior. He set the ship down on the other side of the city from where he was picked up and opened the doors. We braced ourselves for a military confrontation, but it seemed like we were outside another human’s abode. He jumped out, carrying the nutrients with him.

We underestimated Domino’s 30-minute or free guarantee.

j99450:

paganinpurple:

friendly-peep:

raven-the-redhead:

courtney-p-22:

claw-animalae:

Peter Parker, a Gen Z kid, screws up: Fuck, guess I’ll kill myself.

Steve Rogers, an artist during the 30’s and a soldier during WWII who knows full well what Dadaism and fatalistic humor are: There’s bleach under the sink–

Bucky Barnes, the guy who listened to Steve’s art rants in the 30’s, watched his back in WWII and went through 70+ years of shit: –And a rope in the supply closet if you want options.

Rest of the Avengers: ?????!!!!!!!?????

Shuri, also a gen z kid: don’t be a coward, jump out the window. Have some style would you

Vision, the human internet who knows what Gen Z humor is: do a flip

Peter Parker: Guess I’ll die. *jumps out the window*

the Avengers: ??!?!??!?!???????

Peter Parker, The Spiderman: *swings around the building and comes back*

Thor, who grew up with Loki: He’s only doing it for attention. He’ll stop being dead in a moment

reblogged for Thor

nonbinarist:

urulokid:

histry-buff:

lesmiserableslove:

bobavader:

today i found out that victor hugo has had more sex than possibly almost any other human that has lived on this planet. 

he had so much sex his biographers straight up gave up trying to document all of his sexual partners. he was reported to fuck up to 3-9 times a day. He had a secret sex diary written in code. He had “official” and “unofficial” mistresses. One estimate was that he had ~200 sexual partners in two years. 

Icon. 

don’t forget that on the day of his funeral all the brothels in Paris were closed because every single prostitute in the whole goddamn city was busy mourning him

Hey quick question what the fuck

the man reported on his hookups in his diary using latin code words and 2 million people attended his funeral, if that isnt balling idk what is

victor hugo has been dead for 133 slutty, slutty years

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

lilithyanstuff:

mirrorada:

glyndarling:

pinchtheprincess:

jack-the-lion:

starlightdragon:

bunjywunjy:

crystallinecrow:

slusheeduck:

im-fairly-whitty:

fizzy-dog:

i love cats

you have long cat (serval)

ear cat (sand cat)

small evil cat (black footed cat)

spherical cat (pallas cat)

cat who probably watches makeup tutorials on youtube (caracal)

very round cat (leopardus guigna)

water cat (fishing cat)

cat with socks (leopardus colocolo)

grayscale cat (geoffroy’s cat)

and let’s not forget revolver cat (ocelot)

🎶These are a few of my favorite things 🎶

Don’t forget Snek Cat (Clouded Leopard)

@bunjywunjy

LOOK, TEETHY FUR BOIS

IMPORTANT ALLEGED CATS

Are You 100% Sure This Isn’t A Lemur (flat-headed cat)

That’s A Fucking Stoat (Jaguarundi)

Foot Fetish (canadian lynx)

(OK I’M SORRY FOR THAT ONE BUT JESUS JUST LOOK AT IT.)

and I move that my favorite, spherical cat, should be renamed Redonkasaurus Rex immediately (pallas cat)

@turbotasstic

Now this is the kind of content I signed up for. XD

If you don’t reblog this, why are you even on Tumblr?

I wish to pet all of them.  Even if they bite me, I will pet anyway.

Humans had to breed dogs into strange freaky versions of them selves.

Cats did it by sheer will and mountains of hate.

@deadcatwithaflamethrower

Must reblog cat post.