writingmyselfintoanearlygrave:

writing-prompt-s:

One day, you lose your wallet, and it is found by a mob boss, who figures out that you aren’t in such a good place financially, and takes pity on you. So they start anonymously sending cash, clothes, and furniture to you in the mail, eventually, the mob boss sends you a letter to stating that they bought you a house, and it lists an adress. What do you do?

In this economy? Thank them politely, pledge your loyalty, and join the mob.

fleamontpotter:

snapslikethis:

prongsmydeer:

snapslikethis:

i will never be over vernon dursley telling people at his wedding that james potter was some kind of amateur magician, implying that he wasn’t even that good

100% believe that if petunia hadn’t cut lily out of her life, james would have just rolled with it and learned muggle magic tricks and performed them at various family functions, like

try to wear the full magician costume to dudleys christening 

“you can’t wear that james” 
“it’s the only way i’m going, lil” 
“fine but give me your wand” 
“my real one, or the fake one that shoots out flowers?” 
“both, and you’d better tidy the handkerchiefs are trailing out of your trouser leg before we leave”

“I’m not a magician, marge, i’m an illusionist.”

petunia walks in on james pretending to saw toddler dudley in half for toddle harry’s amusement

actually incorporating magic into the tricks and freaking the hell out of vernon’s extended family

standing up at christmas and saying that he’d like to perform a magic trick. and vernon and petunia are HORRIFIED and lily just pours more wine but marge says ‘let him do it’ so she can mock him?? and he tries/fails to ‘vanish’ the napkins 3-4 times and it doesn’t work, until the fourth time when it DOES and it freaks the hell out of vernon’s extended family

and that is probably when petunia cuts lily out of her life for Real

guys this is a very important post and i’ve been thinking about it all morning 

unfortunate-waitress:

hello-its-a-jo:

unfortunate-waitress:

If i’m telling you, “this is a hot plate.” But I make no effort to put it down, i’m internally yelling at you to move your shit. Your phone. Your keys. Your bread. Whatever is directly in front of you is from that point on is now classified as your shit. The shit you are suddenly responsibly for and I am burning my hands for. Move your shit. I’m not going to move it for you.

Shoutout to the people who see me approaching with their food and immediately start clearing the way for me. You are the real MVPs. You know what’s up. You understand.

As for everybody else. Move. Your. Shit.

Me

We see that and we respect the fuck out of you. Thank you.

rabbittiddy:

heroes-never-aaaugh:

the-regeneratin-degenerate:

prepare4life:

NATO Standard Phonetic Alphabet,

The phonetic alphabet was developed as a way to spell things out over radio communications that may be less then ideal, I.E. a lot of static or weak signal. All the words were chosen because they have a distinct sound that is easy to pick out. Military and police communications use the phonetic alphabet heavily and can be helpful to know for talking over CB’s or FRS (walky talky) radios.

I’m sorry guys, i had to

I cannot fucking believe it is the yEAR 2017 GOD DAMMIT

No. Just no. The NATO phonetic alphabet should not be used like this.

mind stats you should dump depending on what class you play in dnd

slythwolf:

molllymauktealeaf:

molllymauktealeaf:

barbarian: honestly any of them, but that’s irrelevant because barbarians are designed to have those stats dumped we gotta get into the Real hot takes

bard: listen most people would say wisdom BUT you should dump intelligence. be an idiot who can talk real good

cleric: dump charisma. live out your low charisma dreams. you have Good Plans but nobody listens to you because you cant talk well. be cassandra

druid: dump intelligence!! live out your woodsy dumbass dreams!! you know that leaves exist maybe!!!!

fighter: dump wisdom. be reckless. punch a guy. punch TWELVE guys. get kicked out of a bar. get into fights and then get Out of them

monk: listen monks are supposed to be spiritual and knowledegable  shit but u know what? dump intelligence. be dumb punch shit

paladin: dump charisma. make your god hate you with how bad you talk to people. smash things with your holy light and shitty social skills

ranger: again, dump charisma. animals > people. eat leaves and weird people out

rogue: dump wisdom baby!! you got +7654354678 to stealth and nobody can Stop You from being impulsive if they dont know where you are

sorcerer: dump intelligence or wisdom. in fact, dump both. talk yourself out of any situation you get into because ur reckless and dont know shit

warlock: same fuckin thing, dump intelligence and wisdom. have a good time. u dont know how u got into ur pact and u probably dont care because now youve got sick magic powers

wizard: dump wisdom!! sure ur super smart but somebody could be 25% behind a rock and u wouldnt see em! blast spells at a moments notice!!! live ur dreams!!!

NOW WE’RE TALKING

but consider: you can be a lawful good follower of ANY deity if ur int is low enough