naamahdarling:

naamahdarling:

rhube:

bastardlybrendan:

fuckingrecipes:

facts-i-just-made-up:

I spent like 15 hours on this.

*impressed slow clap*

This was ridiculously pleasing to read out loud. 

This is a legitimately fine poem. I say so with my BA in English and Philosophy and my PhD. It’s DAMN HARD to write something like this. Be impressed, yo.

Transcript of poem in screenshot:

First the cracker batter baker bakes a cracker batter batch
then the cracker batter mixer door will open and unlatch
so the batter mixer nozzle can descend onto the patch
where the cracker batter spreads out for the nozzle to attach.

When the cracker mixer nozzle sprays the cracker batter spray
and the cracker batch emulsion lies a-soaking in its haze
then the cracker batter mixer starts to stir up all the glaze
that the final cracker stacker needs to lubricate the way.

Once the cracker stacker handle stacks the cracker batter squares
then the cracker batter’s hardened into double stacks of pairs.
Now the cracker separator breaks the crackers in the stackers
so the wrappers on the stackers fit the finished stacking crackers.

Then they’re distributed to Wal-Mart.

I forgot about this magnificent poem, and you probably did too. Here it is again.

I highly recommend trying to read it aloud, it feels delightful and is almost impossible.

bemusedlybespectacled:

followthebluebell:

so we’ve tried explaining vaccines using science and that scared people

but what if

instead

we told them that vaccines actually contain magic rocks or healing energy

“we left this rabies vaccine in the light of a full moon to cleanse it, so it’s safe.  everyone knows about the link between rabies and full moons :)”

“vaccination is an ancient practice going back at least hundreds of years that draws on your body’s natural healing abilities to let you fight disease naturally”

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

einarwriting:

ebonykain:

dragon-in-a-fez:

darklordtomarry:

ronaldswheezy:

sp00kylexa:

harry can’t duel

harry can’t duel

harry cannot duel

he only uses expelliarmus and he cannot duel

even if he’s dueling the FUCKING DARK LORD

Imagine the conversation ministry officials must be having when they see his auror application:

“He’s Harry Potter!”

“I know but that doesn’t change the fact-”

“Harry! Freaking! Potter!”

“We still need him to attend extra duelling lessons-”

“We can’t put Harry Potter in extra duelling lessons!”

“He only ever uses one spell-”

“Yeah, but he’s really good at it.”

I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who had practiced one kick 10,000 times. – Bruce Lee

Harry Potter, the boy who dared to ask, “why study all these other spells if I can get really good at yeeting everyone’s wands out of their hands”

…it’s true

@deadcatwithaflamethrower

The Bruce Lee quote is truth.