Tag: still laughing

linddzz:

linddzz:

linddzz:

linddzz:

I finally found a way to keep myself focused through a D&D campaign and it’s by playing a character so deeply repellent that my focus remains on how Im gonna skeeve out everyone else in the group during my next turn.

Anyway I have a bard named Jeberdiah (he prefers that you refer to him by his stage name, “Starslick”). He’s a level 4 bard who I describe as the blonde creeper twin from It’s Always Sunny with the same level of constant moistness. Except he’s wearing a black leather V-mankini with knee high silver high heeled gogo boots and he plays an oboe. He heavy breathes every sentence and despite being the human form of a two day old wet towel left on the floor with glitter dumped on it, his charisma score ended up hilariously high. This is played as people being so unnerved by him that they just generally go with whatever he’s saying.

The physical description on the players sheet is “if the twins from IASIP decided they wanted to be David Bowie.”

Starslick’s sexuality is a mystery few are brave enough to explore but if asked he would probably stare at them with his blank glassy eyes for a solid half minute before whispering “labels only inhibit me.”

Starslick used Vicious Mockery on a troll in the form of slowly looking it up and down slowly and softly saying “yeah I still would”

Inspired our tank with a grand rendition of Kanya West’s “Stronger” and the tank screamed “KRONK HAVE A SEMI!!!!”

Last update. I keep rolling high on performances and describe these performances like “it’s the sax from Careless Whisper but on an oboe and I’m doing this move like Im pole dancing on the oboe while playing it. There are a lot of high kicks” and the DM has to describe the crowd reactions to this with everyone legit enjoying it. A quote from one audience member was a confused “listen Im not saying Im NOT turned on”