Make a Vampire character who’s lived through several waves of the common language’s development and can’t let go if certain gramatical habbits from different time eras.
So like, thou ist a horrid creature, an absolute cur, but go off i guess
… can i use that phrase irl?
Absolutely you can and I encourage more uses of similar phrases that just completely fuck up the chronology of the english langauge. I wanna hear 15th century english mixed with surfer speak mixed with current age internet lingo like all the time.
Like this? Well my dude, seems like a weasel hath not such a deal of splean as you’re toss’d with. Chill already, you’re not valid.
You are an unrighteous, bastardly gullion. Heaven truly
knows that thou art false as hell. When you die, I will face God and walk
backwards into hell just so that I can beat your ass in the afterlife too.
I love the idea of a vampire who’s language travels back in time as they get pissed.
I grieve for thee in these trying times. Alexa play Despacito
how… what is… did you just have this art lying around?? was it in a box labeled In Case Of Goblin Seduction 6-Pack Joke Break Glass? apparently this is a Magic card and I have a lot of questions for Magic: The Gathering right now
I can never remember this card’s real name because everyone just calls it “Abs of Treason”
The card name is “Enthralling Victor”. It has a ‘spiritual sequel’ card in terms of artwork called “Captivating Crew”, drawn by the same artist:
tumblr user, drinking a bottle of uncontaminated water in post apocalyptic america: i love this?? this is so pure omg
tumblr user, finding a miraculously untouched packet of frozen pastries in post-apocalyptic america: beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure
tumblr user, succumbing to dehydration in the wilderness of post-apocalyptic america: my hands are literally shaking as I type this
tumblr edgelord, to a booby-trap in post-apocalyptic america, an arrow embedded deep in their chest: i’m sorry, are you triggered?
tumblr user, attempting to reestablish a pony express mail service across the shattered remnants of post-apocalyptic america: this post is important
tumblr user, standing behind thousands of other refugees from post-apocalyptic america, straining to hear the instructions of the volunteer who is giving them their floor space assignments: say it louder for the people in the back
tumblr user, handing out vials —filled with a cure for the plague which has devastated the world— to the remaining people of post-apocalyptic america: spread this like wildfire
tumblr user, checking the post-apocalyptic town’s notice board for information important to rebuilding: why doesn’t this have more notes??
tumblr user, about to venture out into a dangerous part of the post-apocalyptic world with a small group of volunteers for whom they care for dearly and are concerned about the mental wellbeing of and the impact the adventure could have on them: if you don’t like this unfollow me right now
tumblr user, watching a boy be dragged into the stocks of a post-apocalyptic settlement for the crime of stealing a crust of bread: FREE HIM
Post post modernism
tumblr user, trekking on foot across the burned out plains of post-apocalyptic america in search of refuge for what seems like forever: Is Canada even real?
tumblr user, being offered bark tea to fend off against scurvy in post-apocalyptic america: This tea is HOT!
tumblr user, alone and searching for the warmth and comfort of other humans and being jumped by a group of post-apocalyptic american vigilantes: I came out to have a good time and i’m honestly feeling so attacked right now
tumblr user, caring for a nursery of small children, the last children born into this broken, dying world, gently feeding them watery broth: take a fuckin’ sip babes
tumblr user, watching a suspicious figure approach the gates of their ramshackle settlement in post-apocalyptic america: who is she
tumblr user, looking helplessly at their shattered pole weapon before perishing in the battle circle of post-apocalyptic america: wtf staff
sometimes i wonder why i chose a druid in d&d then realize i wear hippie thrifted clothes and walk around work with bees crawling around on my hand because i want to make sure they make it outside
this was today’s bee and i named her lady.
so i’ve been informed i’ve actually charmed a hornet.
that feel when you roll a crit fail in perception but a nat 20 in animal handling
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